Money: 100 Ways to Keep More Money in Your Pocket

Image courtesy peasap from Flickr Creative Commons

Last night some friends and I held a brainstorming session on Facebook about ways to save or make money. Here's what we have so far:    

1. Hold clothing swaps with your friends – everyone brings their never-wear-but-too-good-to-get-rid-of clothes, shoes and accessories.  
2. Shop at thrift stores.
3. Split entrees at restaurants, or take leftovers home.
4. Look on Craigslist or EBay first for electronics and furniture.
5. Ask your stylist to hook you up with haircolor so you can do your own roots in between visits. Drugstores also have root treatments that can help until your next appointment. And, if you find the right non-damaging product and you’re good enough to do it yourself, try home color.
6. Trade babysitting with friends.
7. Walk instead of taking cabs in NYC. It's usually quicker.
8. Make your own dog treats. Cheaper and you know what's in them.
9. Shop at farmers markets for in-season produce, which tastes better and is usually cheaper than the supermarket.
10. Don't order takeout or delivery unless there's a legit reason.
11. Buy food that won’t go bad quickly (such as oatmeal or beans) in bulk instead of cans.smaller portion … if the math works out. Sometimes you can also find crazygood sales on the smaller items.
12. Make your own coffee in the morning and bring it with you in a travel mug to work.
13. Negotiate with your phone company, cable company and Internet provider. They don't want to lose your business. I've only been paying a tiny amount for Internet service for years because I threaten to leave every six months.
14. Stop buying bottled water – for what other product would you happily pay a 1,000 percent markup?
15. Get a soda stream and a water filter so you can make your own bubbly water to replace your ridiculous Pellegrino habit.
16. Stop smoking.
17. Use both sides of the paper.
18. Stop emotional/impulse spending: If you're dying to get that dress/makeup/pair of boots, wait a day, see if you're still jonesing for it, then make the purchase.
19. Organize your stuff and have a place for everything: You'd be amazed how much extra stuff you buy when you're disorganized and can't find something you already have.
20. If you do NEED really need a new dress shop at Ross or TJ Max or some suchanother discount store first... If you do buy a dress full-price, make sure you love it, it’s good quality, and that you can wear it for a few years.
21. See if you can make Halloween costumes for your kids from stuff you already have (cowgirl, tourist, gypsy, zombie, nerd ), or swap costumes with friends or other parents.
22. You don’t need that much meat. Try using half, or go meatless a couple days a week.
23. Re-evaluate how much you're paying in bank fees, insurance, credit cards, etc. Do a full financial inventory. Try calling to get the fees waived or lowered.
24. Shop in your closet. Look for fresh ways to wear forgotten items.
25. Read parking signs carefully and keep cash in the car so you never get a parking ticket.
26. Kids grow so quickly that some of the best clothes hardly have a chance to be worn – consider a hand-me-down arrangement with a friend or family member, consignment, or thrift-store search.
27. Cook at home. Take a yogurt and granola bar for breakfast, and pack a nice lunch of leftovers or soup or cold cuts.
28. Give up alcohol for a month and you'll save money and even lose weight.
29. Fabric painting and decorative patches: they save stains and holes in clothes, brighten them up and give them a new look.
30. Get worn boots and shoes that still look good resoled, don't throw instead of throwing them out.
31. Ribbons make great shoelaces.
32. Use it up, wear it out, make it do ... or do without.
33. Use your apps to keep an up-to-date inventory/shopping list.
34. Use a lipstick brush to get every last drop of your favorite color!
35. Thrift-shop online at Poshmark, Twice and Threadflip.
36. Trade skills at your local time bank: Some neighborhoods have organizations in which members can barter their time and skills for other goods and services.
37. Try getting it at Trader Joe's or the ethnic market before the regular supermarket.
38. Grow your own herbs.
39. A chicken or turkey gets double mileage when you use the carcass for stew or soup.
40. Use Freecycle and Craiglist to score free stuff. Sometimes it's yours for the asking.
41. There's this thing called the library where you can get free books, music and movies. Seriously. For reals..
42. Order cleaning supplies, health and beauty aids, diapers and other non-perishable stuff you replace regularly through Amazon.com Subscribe 'n' Save, which saves you a big percentage off the price, as well as time shopping and parking. If you’re a frequent online shopper, the Amazon Prime service is totally worth it: You get free shipping and access to hundreds of on-demand videos.
43. What can you do as a side gig? Copyedit? Build websites? Babysit? Walk dogs? Housesit? Teach guitar? Draw pet portraits? Paint decorative mailboxes? If you think about it long enough you'll figure out your side gig. One person I know saved up enough from cocktail waitressing on her off-hours to put a down payment on a house.
44. Aside from the library, there's soooo much music you can listen to for free: try Spotify, Pandora and of course, you can go to the library and get music risk-free and download podcasts or live-streaming from your favorite radio station. (I’m a huge fan of Santa Monica’s KCRW.)
45. Upcycle your clothes: Can that dated dress become a cool tunic top? With the flash of the scissors and a little sewing skill (or learn for free on YouTube) that unwearable cashmere sweater with the moth holes can turn into cute leg warmers or  the best scarf ever. If you're good at it, you can sell your creations on Etsy.
46. Use your fresh and perishable food first so it doesn't go bad. If necessary, develop a system in your refrigerator so that the food that needs to be eaten first is most accessible.
47. Join a Yahoo! online community specific to your profession, neighborhood , hobby, interest or kids’ age. You’ll be amazed how generous people can be with advice, discounts, insider information and gear.
48. Use Gasbuddy or another app to help you find the least-expensive gas in your neighborhood.
49. A neighborhood mechanic can change the oil just as well as your auto dealer can but usually for less. Shop around and develop a great relationship with someone who can work on your car.
50. Get your utility to come out and do a free energy audit of your home. You’ll learn low- and no-cost options for saving money on energy.
51. Combine trips and errands in the car to save gas and time. Don’t go to the store for just one ingredient – use what you have, improvise, or borrow from a neighbor.
52. Use Netflix streaming ($9/month) and shut off cable ($30+/month)
53. Dinners out with friends can get really expensive. Let your friends know you’re trying to save money and join them for a glass of wine, cup of coffee or dessert.  
54. Shop for recycled building materials before you plan your home building or renovation, you might save thousands.
55. Slay your energy vampires: Unplug chargers and other devices when they’re not in use. Anything with a clock or light on it is still “on” when it says it’s “off.” You can also invest in a smart power strip that knows which devices don’t need to be energized 24/7.
56. “Set and forget” your temperature with a programmable thermostat that keeps your air conditioning and heating from working too hard when you’re not in the house, but so you can come home to a comfortable room.
57. A microwave uses far less power than an electric stove, and in the summer it won’t heat your home so you save on air-conditioning costs.
58. CFL and LED lightbulbs use a fraction of the energy that incandescent bulbs do. They also create less heat, so your air conditioner doesn’t have to work as hard in the summer.
59. Do your holiday shopping year-round, and keep a “generic gift” box going so that you don’t need to blow your cash around the holidays.
60. Negotiate your property tax if that’s possible where you live.
61. Use the ATM for your bank so you don’t have to pay out-of-network fees. Most credit unions let you use any other credit union’s ATM for free.
62. Consider giving up either your landline or cell phone – keep the one you use the most.
63. Set up automatic deductions to a savings account that is not linked to your paycheck. You are less likely to spend what you can’t see.
64. Keep track of every penny you spend through a spread sheet or a program such as Mint, then take a good look at where your money is going and see where you can easily cut back.
65. Share a Netflix movie membership with a friend.
66. Cancel your cable and watch shows on DVD or directly from the channel’s website.
67. Develop a hobby and use what you make for gifts, or to sell on Etsy, eBay or your own website.
68. Borrow a special occasion dress you’ll only wear once from a friend.
69. Stop drinking soda, drink water instead. It’s better for you and will help your skin tremendously.
70. See if your yoga studio or gym offers a work-study program in exchange for classes.
71. That lint in the dryer? It’s your clothes slowly decomposing. Line drying saves energy and helps your clothes last longer.
72. Instead of going to a pet store or a breeder, adopt a pet from a shelter and take advantage of the low-cost vaccinations and spay/neuter service usually provided.
73. Evaluate your subscriptions: Are you really reading that newspaper and those magazines? Is there anything you could read for free online instead?
74. Save gift wrapping, pretty shopping bags and tissue paper for wrapping other gifts.
75. Save and recycle last year’s Christmas cards by cutting them up and creating funky, unique collage cards with a new note on the back.
76. Cut the picture side of a card off and use it as a postcard.
77. You’d be amazed how well vinegar and baking soda clean the house, toxin-free.
78. Honestly? You don’t need to wash your hair every day. Unless you work somewhere it gets really dirty.
79. A full refrigerator or freezer is more efficient and costs less to run than an empty one. Even water jugs work just fine.
80. A small crack around a door or your windows is the equivalent of a hole in your wall. Invest a couple dollars and a few minutes in weather-stripping your home so you don’t spend as much to heat and cool it.
81. Learn an incredible trick and bet people $5 that you can do what seems impossible.
82. Turn out lights when you leave a room. You know, like your dad said.
83. Moths can take out an entire winter wardrobe in a few days. Save soap slivers or cedar shavings in a zipper bag with holes poked in it, and store it with your clothes. You can also store clothes in a vacuum-sealed bag or sealed plastic container.
84. Most theaters in major cities have discount outlets where you can buy half-price tickets. You can also get on the theater’s mailing list for special deals.
85. If you had a particularly good or bad customer experience, take a moment to write to the company – you may get a discount.
86. Book your air travel as early in advance as possible and use a service such a kayak.com to predict the best time to buy a ticket.
87. Adopt a low-maintenance hairstyle that suits your life – you’ll save time as well as money on products and frequent cuts.
88. If you’re shopping for a specific make or model of a major purchase, such as a computer, camera or appliance and can’t find it used, go online to a shopping comparison site such as Shopzilla or Pricegrabber to find free shipping and the best deals.
89. How much are you spending on storage? Do some hard math: Say you have $1,000 worth of items and you pay $150 a month to store them. That’s $1,800 per year you’re spending to keep things you rarely use. If you’re storing sentimental items that have absolutely no value, offer a friend with a bigger home half that to keep your stuff in her garage, basement or attic.
90. If you have a separate living space or if you’ll be away for a while, consider signing up with a vacation rental service such as Vacation Rentals By Owner, which can match you up with someone happy to rent on a nightly, weekly or monthly basis.
91. Save hundreds of dollars by scouring thrift stores for eyeglass frames and getting your own lenses put it.
92. Sign up for a daily email from Dailyworth.com for free advice on ways to save, earn more and invest.
93. Stop impulse buying in the drug store. Before you go, see what you can use up or combine (if you’re like me, you may have two or three bottles of shampoo and several half-full body creams in rotation at any one time) before buying new.
94. Before springing for a hotel, post on Facebook or another network that you’re coming to town and need an inexpensive place to stay. Hopefully you’ll get an invitation from a friend or a friend-of-a-friend; otherwise you’ll at least have great insider scoops on cheap-but-good places to stay.
95. Before signing up for a costly gym membership, see if they’ll bargain with you. And also consider what natural resources you have for exercise – can you run in a nearby park, woods or beach? Is there a playground near you with exercise equipment?
96. If you’re considering going back to school and don’t necessarily need the credit, check out the multitude of free online educational lectures available from Ivy League professors and TED conference speakers. www.education-portal.com is a good place to start.
97. If you rent, be an amazing tenant. Any sane landlord may cut you a deal when your lease is up, or not raise the rent, in order to keep you there.
98. Make double and freeze half your dinner (and label the container!); you’ll have a full stock of ready-to-heat food so you won’t be tempted to order takeout when there’s nothing in the fridge.
99. It’s one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have, but talk to your parents about their wishes for what to do when they can’t take care of themselves and more, and what their expectations are. Planning for disability is much less expensive then paying retail for it or having to suddenly move house to accommodate an aging parent.
100. Remember, everything is negotiable … the job offer, the housecleaner, the hotel room, the furniture store, the stuff you’re buying from Craigslist, the discount at the department store, the landlord, the caterer. Pretty much anything you can walk away from you can negotiate.

Style: How to Fix a Hole in a Cashmere Sweater

While our boots straighten themselves up in the closet, anxiously awaiting to traipse and frolic in the chill of fall, our cashmere tends to come out beaten and defeated from wily critters that take a bite from the most inconvenient places. It makes me sad.

Here's a cashmere sweater I got for $1 at the thrift store. I figured I could darn the hole, but as I looked closer I got a better inspiration: Patch it. In a cool way.

So I ransacked my fabric bag and found the remains of a T-shirt I'd recycled as a dress for a friend's baby. Then I found an image of a bird silhoutte I liked online, and to make it the right size, just copied it to a Word document and expanded it. Then I cut it out and traced around it on the T-shirt fabric, and sewed it on with black thread.

Sad for me but happily for someone else, it turns out this sweater is a little TOO complimentary to my bustline, so I will end up passing it along.

Send in your stories and pictures of [clothing] salvation and we'll feature them on 40licious!

I liked the bird so much he lives on my window now.

Health: Detoxing Your Home Can Make You Worried Sick

Today's post comes courtesy of Women's Health Magazine

Do You Have a Detoxifying Obsession?

By Linda Formichelli

It all started, innocently enough, with the dryer sheets a few months ago.

While they might make your laundry smell like a summer day, I had just read that the flimsy leaflets actually coat your clothes with a thin layer of toxic chemicals. As a health writer, I regularly come across a fair number of startling facts about contaminants, but this time was different: I had an infant in the next room. I threw our box of dryer sheets in the trash that day.

Problem solved. Until I read about dust.

A little online searching revealed that not only is common house dust loaded with noxious particles and allergenic dead bug bits like dust mites (eww), but the cleaning solution used to wipe it up could cause just about every ailment known to mankind (breast cancer, diabetes, memory impairment…oh my!). And then there were our bedsheets and towels, all crawling with germs that could be killed only by bleach—the same bleach that could lead to respiratory problems. What's more, wearing your sneakers indoors tracks dangerous pesticides (and other nasties you pick up outside) through the house.

So I banned chemical-laden cleaning products, made guests remove their shoes at the door, and launched an all-out assault on dust and dirt. Soon what little free time I had was spent vacuuming toxins off the lampshades. All worth it, I figured, to keep my family safe from crippling illnesses and premature death.

Of course, feeding them was another challenge entirely. I began paying double for organic, pesticide-free produce and hormone-free milk. Free-range chicken at the co-op set me back $9 for three small halves. But even as these changes lightened my wallet, they did nothing to ease my mind, because the threats were piling up faster than the laundry. One week it was the electromagnetic-frequency-emitting cell phone I used as an alarm clock; the next, the baby monitor. After I'd banished both, I still found myself lying awake at night, plagued by worry.

Unhealthy Extremes
It was money that finally brought me to my senses. Not the small fortune I was shelling out for elite food and eco-cleaners, but the actual greenbacks themselves. A new study trumpeted that bills are tainted with bisphenol-A (BPA), which, according to the National Toxicology Program, can have negative effects on "the brain, behavior, and prostate glands in fetuses, infants, and children."

With that news, I was done. It made no difference how many hours I spent researching dangers, naturally disinfecting surfaces, arguing with my laidback husband (who insisted I was driving myself crazy over nothing), and fighting the world's worst case of static cling. I couldn't quit cash.

Surprisingly, instead of feeling defeated, I felt free. I realized I couldn't be expected to purify every aspect of my family's life. News headlines emphasize life's dangers and then tantalizingly offer solutions for ridding your home, your food, and your body of contaminants. I'm not the first to be sucked in by those claims—or hopelessly confused by them. Just to be sure, though, I called a few experts for a second opinion.

"'Detoxing' can become a coping skill that's used to gain a sense of control when life feels overwhelming," says psychotherapist Julie Hanks, M.S.W. In other words, you may not be able to control stock-market crashes or terrorism, but you can nix pesticides from your kitchen.

But this control tactic can backfire: When you spend all of your time worrying about everything that could possibly harm you, and spend a hunk of your money trying to delete those dangers from your life, the intense stress it causes can have a bigger impact on your lifestyle than BPA or any other scary-sounding acronym.

"Detoxing is about taking a break and renewing and rejuvenating ourselves," says Gerard E. Mullin, M.D., an associate professor of medicine at The Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. "But if you take it to extremes, you may do yourself more harm by living in a state of anxiety."

Balance is the only approach that works for me. Some changes are so easy that it doesn't make sense not to make them—toting a stainless-steel water bottle in lieu of a BPA-containing plastic one to the gym, for example. I'm still not ecstatic about the static in my clothes, but because it's easier and cheaper—as well as healthier—not to use dryer sheets, I'm willing to put up with a little shock therapy. But I gave up the $8 organic shampoo and went back to my $3 suds. I still buy my toddler organic, hormone-free milk, but my husband and I stick with the regular stuff.

And something amazing has happened: I've stopped lying awake at night, worrying that our toilet-bowl cleaner will give me cancer or that the carpeting in the nursery might off-gas and melt my son's brain. Even though I've let my guard down, my family and I are way happier than we were when I was spending my precious spare time hunting down pesticides, synthetic chemicals, and stray electromagnetic waves. I can now actually enjoy our home—and start letting good things in instead of keeping bad things out.

Here are a few of the chemicals you can live with and the ones you definitely shouldn’t:

• Dishwasher Detergent: One sniff will tell you how toxic the fumes from a bleach-containing detergent can be, so be sure to use one that is bleach-free.
• The “Dirty Dozen:” Buy organic versions of the 12 most pesticide-laden produce (you can download the list at foodnews.org) and you can reduce your pesticide exposure by up to 80 percent.
• Nix the Air Fresheners: Hormone-disrupting chemicals known as phthalates were found in 12 out of 14 commercial fresheners, according to a 2007 Natural Resources Defense Council study.

Home

I just returned from a seven-day road trip. There is very little glamor, after at least five of these now, in traveling with a slightly stinky beagly mutt in a Prius. And a man who can do a scary-good Tom Jones.  But I can say this, now that I'm letting the rumble of the road wear off with a fresh glass of wine from A Blooming Hill Vineyard (my bonus mother's winery near Portland, Ore.) and some Olive Pit olives stuffed with bleu cheese: We are hard-wired to go home.

We did the Seattle and Port Townsend rounds, visiting 40M, Amanda, Alison and All Adither. And then, Ground Zero for "home." For at least three generations, McGradys have convened in Lilliwaup, Washington, for holidays. My Uncle Seamus lives in the 1930's homestead, which has a fireplace my great grandfather built from beach rocks. We like Thanksgiving the best because it doesn't involve complex codes for gift-giving and we are all tremendous cooks and we really, really enjoy being around each other.

Throughout the day on Thursday, the kids and cousins and friends spent time doing what we do there: hiking up to the tiny ancient graveyard where family and strangers are buried, where in 2003 we dumped the bulk of my dad's ashes under a huckleberry bush. We saw fresh bear poop. From an obviously huge bear. And scurried down the hill. We went out in the pelting rain, in the dark when the tide was low, and carried kids over rivulets and collected hundreds of perfect oysters. One of the most magical moments was hiking along the creek (where, legend has it, my great grandmother and grandfather took watercress from along the banks to feed their wedding guests watercress sandwiches) and watched salmon spawning. Two-foot-long silvery fish fought their way against the rushing water, suddenly losing ground and coming back, never minding their dead brethren on the side.

In my hypnosis watching those fish, it all came very clear that despite crazy relatives and the long drive and that I could have spent my vacation somewhere sunny and tropical, I had to come home. It is in my genetic code. And I am grateful to have a place.

Chris Jordan

Today I brought this amazing artist, Chris Jordan, to work to talk to our people. 120 RSVP'd. Maybe half of that showed up. No execs, really, which is what I'd wanted.

It is days like this that I think I'm in a small army of people who are trying to make a difference in how we live as Americans, how we consume, how we need to change. Everything.

The things that mean the most

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sportphotog/3866612983/

Can you call fire nature? Is it fair to say that nature is kicking our collective human asses?

Tonight, the fire continues to blaze behind the hills, behind my safe and quiet, tree-lined neighborhood. It's drapes like a big scary necklace around the hills.

There have been no whisperings from neighbors to evacuate, but -- just in case -- I filled my biggest Europe-Israel suitcase with things Lucy and I might need. Jeans. Sneakers. Dog food. Jewelry from people I love. And then the odd things that somehow wound up in there -- a green batik sarong I got in Thailand 18 years ago, but have not worn since. An antique belt buckle from my mother that I'm sure I will have no use for, ever. An accordion file of receipts my accountant wants me to keep.

I went through cupboards and realized I can buy towels. New contacts. Makeup. Skip, skip, skip.

But there are so many paintings. If I had to make a choice, would it be my grandmother's, my mother's, or my original Peter Maxes?

I don't know. I don't want to get into what photos and diaries and art would be salvaged. I can't wrap my head around it all.

I have a feeling that when it comes down to it, in all the panic and the shock, the things you think you'll take are rarely the things you'll actually take.

Except the dog. That's a given.

California is burning

One of the four fires is just above the hill. Glendale is filled with a sick brown smoke, veiling the mountains. I keep going to Malibu to breathe clean air. In the middle of the night I turned on my air conditioner and woke up a couple hours later to a room filled with smoke.

We don't have to evacuate, but just in case we can't hack it here any more, I copied down all the important info, found a deed and a passport, and packed them away.

It may be California's karma coming up: You steal water, you get fire.

More TV

I was on national TV today, talking about refrigerator recycling. So fun! And hey, someone hand that woman a safety pin!

Another Tough Day at the Office

Vanessa and KTLA's Gayle Anderson talk about ways to save energy this summer.

For my mother

My mother is not the type to be bowled over by a bouquet of flowers on the door. She'd appreciate them, yes, but more than that, she wants a little chunk of my spirit, something meaningful. This year she asked for a poem. I began it yesterday as I volunteered at the Gibbon Conservation Center. My friend and I had the cush job -- hang out in a shady spot under a tree, near a gibbon family compound, to make sure people didn't throw food into the cage. It was an amazing exercise, spending hours watching these apes live their little lives in a wire cage, as they engaged us in conversation ("oooh, oooh, oooh") and howled warnings to the world.

My short but profound time with the apes inspired my poem for Mother's Day, to the woman who taught me, above all, that All You Need Is Love.

SWING AND HANG

These monkeys, they pick at each other.
They swing and hang and end up in a big hug.
Tumble down the tree trunk in a pile.
Swing and hang.
They are family.
Swing and hang.

Mama moves neat and swift.
Baby clinging.
They belong together.
Neither will let go.
As they swing and hang.
Across a jungle canopy.
Swing and hang.

Mama will teach
How to play
How to eat
How to survive
In a place that is not always easy or kind.

Baby will learn
by example
how to love without reserve.
How to swing and hang
and not drop her own.

Unplugged

My friends and I have been hiking on the weekends. Monster hikes. We see waterfalls and meadows and clover fields and tide pools. We bring dogs and babies and more friends. We leave phones and iPods and makeup somewhere else.

It reminds me of Jane Austen novels, in which the party always takes a long walk in the country after breakfast, or before supper, or before all hell breaks loose due to a missing letter or an mis-overheard conversation.

We group in twos and threes, and converge together. We are quiet and chatty and raucous. We thank God that we are not Pioneers Making Their Way Across the Country for a Better Life and that in two hours we'll be showered, feet up, watching the latest Netflix offering.

In my life I've spent so much time making dinner for people, meeting them out, planning big elaborate occasions because I want to see them and have the chance to chat, to get in deep, to reconnect. The 40licious realization is that you don't need to have an excuse to see your near and dear ones, or to get to know someone new a little better. You just need to go out together and fill your heads with nature and the sound of rushing water, buzzing bugs and silence under sky. And walk.

A Bear Crapped on My Table

I've been told by a very inspiring and influential person to get my papers in order (well, outline and proposal) and start working on my memoir after she read my article about living off the grid in Grist. I feel like I landed on the soft pillow after riding bareback in the woods for years. There is a crack in a windowless and doorless room where the light has begun to stream in. I could do this. I could write my book. My book.

December is always a little tough for me because it was the month my father died in 2003. I will always remember the day that I handed him my business card after deciding on a career as a freelance writer. It read:

Vanessa McGrady
Journalist

He handed it back. "One day it will say 'journalist and author.' "

But I never thought that I had enough to say.

Of course, my father was always right. It still takes me a long time to realize this.

Cheap Chic! Body Lotion!

My fave bloggers are all about living on the cheap these days; to wit: Bake Like a Ninja and Half-Assed Kitchen. They also happen to be hilarious and lovely people, too.

I work with a sassy and charitable and funny woman named Katie. Over lunch the other day, we lamented that our high-power friends who ALWAYS make money are scratching around for work. Our sort-of employed creative type friends (the class to which I usually belong) are having a REALLY tough time of it. What we realized that in this time of roller-coaster economics, we're kind of like bonds. We're not in the sexy or exciting job. We tell people we work at the power company and they're all, like, "eh." But what we traded for is stability, and the good feeling we get when we can take our friends who need it the most to lunch.

Which leads me to a new feature on 40licious called "Cheap Chic!" with a cost-cutting measure so that you can still live your fabulous glam life, but without spending a lot of dough. Today's entry: Body Lotion!

Body Lotion!
Assemble all the creamy lotiony stuff people have given you over the past couple years that you never quite took to, or products that you bought for your face but didn't work out. Now empty them into a large measuring cup, and whisk them around for a while. Add some olive oil, drop by drop, to increase viscosity. Then add a drop of essential oil or two, or maybe some vanilla extract, and put it all back in the most decent bottle you have from the bunch, maybe with a new label. Voila! New life for old lotion! More space on the shelves! No perfectly good stuff in the landfill! No having to hassle with the overly made up woman in a lab coat at Macy's!

DUDES: You can also use this as a thoughtful, homemade gift for your lady. She won't even notice her stuff is missing. HOWEVER: MAKE SURE that you are not using her Creme de la Mer or similar expensive face cream that she relies on every morning to make her feel human. Your gesture will backfire and you will feel bad, and then she will feel bad because she knows you were trying to do something nice, but damn, that stuff costs $119 at the Duty Free place and, well, just never mind. Thank you, honey.

How Long Until Election Day?

Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain

I'd like to set some new ground rules for our erstwhile candidates and their supporters, because I'm very, very close to switching out completely and listening to JACK-FM in the car, and spending my online time at www.engrish.com.

So. If you are running for president or vice president, I respectfully submit the 40licious rules for campaigning, from this point forward.

1. Enough with the POW stuff. Yes, I know that was a terrible experience. I myself even visited POW camps in Asia to gain a better understanding of something incomprehensible. But can we please move forward? In fact, I'm not sure of the mental stability of someone who was in a POW camp. Do we really want someone with PTSD next to the Red Phone? Also, just because you have been locked in a cage, poked with sharp sticks, and forced to eat thin gruel for many years does not qualify you for president. I had to attend Chimacum Jr. High School where I was regularly taunted for the wrong hair/clothes/family/car/upbringing/friends, forced by seniors to put my foot in a bucket of liquefied cow shit, and made to eat "pizza" by student workers who eventually ended up in the county clink. With suffering=competence logic, that should qualify me for Queen of the World. But it doesn't have anything to do with anything, except I'm sorry that you suffered such pain, McCain. So don't come around.

2. Nobody from any party can say anything else ever about taxes. It's all bunkie. Nobody believes you anyway. You will backtrack. Do we not learn from history? Can we all agree that in order to be a civilized, healthy and educated society, with roads to drive around on and firefighters to come over when we've accidentally burned down the kitchen, we will have to pay taxes? Here's what I'd like to see: a pie chart! Of how each candidate would have your hard-earned tax dollars spent! And then you can decide on which person is more in line with your values by how he divides the pie.

3. Please leave pregnant teens out of it. And how pretty Palin is. And that she should stay home with her kids. That's so trite. So maybe it's true that Palin's son with Down's Syndrome is really her grandchild. Maybe it's not. Don't all families have that kind of stuffing in the closet? Didn't anyone read the Feminine Mystique? Doesn't ANYONE realize how babies are made?

4. If I hear the term "hockey mom," "boy's club/Washington insider" or "special interest" one more time I may sick up.

5. Is it completely unfair to hunt moose from an airplane? Of course it is. Is it completely unfair to eat dead cow killed by a shot to the head whilst it waits in line at the slaughterhouse? Of course it is. But I had Ikea meatballs in my fried rice for dinner, and so I'm not sure if I can complain about the hunting thing. I just had to impulse-buy a BLÖRGG and that was it.

6. Why isn't anyone talking about the environment? Do they not see the brown smear that is urban sky during all their jetsetting? Is anyone carbon-offsetting their travels? Extra points for anyone who comes up with a semi-realistic plan.

7. Enough with who does and who doesn't support the troops. Everyone supports the troops. Some people just want them to come home and stop getting killed.

8. If your last name is McCain or Biden, can you please, just until after the elections, stop being so creepy? You're really ooking me out. Even the sound of your voice makes my skin crawl. Suggestion: Stunt double! I think Nick Nolte and Gary Busey are looking for work.

Demolition

When you get to be 40licious and start bringing in a regular paycheck, you get to do grown-up things. Like buy property. And do mostly whatever you want to that property. Which is why I one day decided to TAKE OFF MY KITCHEN DOORS AND RE-HANG THEM. Which is really only a job professionals should do. And then, to repair the doors that wouldn't close, I took out my Makita and sanded those suckers down. And sanded. And you know what? They still sucked. And then I decided to paint. A charming pink, white and black theme, perhaps something a French prostitute might feel comfortable in as she whips up a post-coital omelet.

However.

I've since toned down the pink and tried to keep the 1947 character of my home. It ended up like this.
But for the last two years, those doors just dogged me. I decided, finally, to change them. Which involved a lot of conversations telling people I don't like thermafoil, I want wood, I want to keep the cabinets, I want to do this all in the most environmentally friendly way possible.

After Home Depot tried to extort a colossal amount of money for some cheap-ass refacing with strips of veneer ($22,000! I could built a cabin for that in the woods. In fact, I think I want to move back to the woods right now, especially after my amazing camping trip), I found Arthur. He's well into his 70s, I'd guess, and kitchens aren't really his specialty, but he's certainly lovely, understands the wood issue, and will paint and do everything I want. And of course, it turns out I need a new countertop and blah blah blah. So it's a full-on remodel.

This is my kitchen now, and for the foreseeable future.

It is its own unique agony. However, there are many lessons learned so far, including:

1. It's good to take EVERYTHING out of your cupboards at least once a year. That Thai noodle soup mix that looked so good two years ago but languished in the back of the cabinet may make a welcome comeback.
2. It's better to have a plan than to just "go with it" and call around for the plumber when it's time to replace the sink.
3. It's easier to find pantry items and dishes if you organize them in a scheme similar to the way you had them in the cupboards.
4. You may think that having an excuse to eat out every meal is liberating. It is not. Keep your stove working if at all possible. Or you will become cheese and crackers, because that is all you will eat. Especially when your friends get sick of you asking if you can take THEIR leftovers home, too.
5. The neighbors might not be thrilled with workmen parked in the driveway. Bring flowers and OVER-apologize and you will assuage your guilt. Say to your other neighbors, "Well, if Diane was having work done in her place I wouldn't mind a workman in the driveway. We all need to be flexible." This is your campaign message.