40licious Style: Doing Hair and Choosing Glasses in Your 40s

Style Strategist Audrey Beaulac has told us at 40licious that we need to get rid of the fat clothes and self-recrimination in our closets. That we need to start dressing the part of the wise women we are in order to be taken seriously. Today is the third post in our 40licious Style series with Beaulac in which we discuss finishing off your own signature look.

If you’re in your 40s and spending an inordinate amount of time and money on your tresses, style strategist Audrey Beaulac wants to know one thing: “Why are you fighting your natural hair?”

Chances are, you have a family or career or social life – or combination of any of those – that take a lot of time. Why would you waste precious minutes on your hair?

“Skin and hair change in your 40s,” she says. “In your 40s you likely don’t have to wash your hair as often.” So that’s good news – there are lots of ways to repurpose yesterday’s hairstyle.

The first stop is getting a really good cut, Beaulac says. “ I know people who spend thousands on their clothes but get a cheap haircut.” If you have a bad cut, it will never behave. It will grow out and you’ll just end up putting it into a ponytail all the time. Your hair will become your enemy. Nobody wants that.

"The Rachel." What were we all thinking?

There are two people in a hair relationship: you and your stylist. At least one of you has to be a progressive and positive force. So if you’re insisting on the same cut you’ve had since you were 25, kiss The Rachel goodbye and let your stylist bring you into 2011. If your stylist can’t make the transition, you may have to bid adieu.

When you’re at the first appointment with a new hairdresser, Beaulac says, that is not the time or place to ask for radical transition. Pictures aren’t helpful if he or she doesn’t have a sense of how you live and who you are, if you’ll commit to color, and if you’ll be able to use product correctly.

You’ll also want your stylist to help you with a reality check. Beaulac recalls a client who always kept her badly home-colored hair in a bun. Her rationale: “I play tennis and want to pull it back.” She was gently coaxed into getting a sleek bob. She also let it go gray naturally, and got her natural lustrous shine back.

Being a 40licious person, you also may need to start thinking about glasses. Ordering the rare squid parfait on a menu because you can’t read it won’t make you look any younger. Even Beaulac herself once waited 12 extra hours in the airport because she was too vain to put her readers on, and mistook 8 p.m. for 8 a.m. on her ticket.

Audrey Beaulac rocking big frames. Own it, woman!

“You’re 40, you’re not fooling anyone, the gig is up! If you need them to see, you need them to see,” she says.

She offers this advice on choosing and wearing frames:

• Take a picture of yourself in them to see how you really look.
• Almost as important as your frames is how your eyebrows look. “The painting changes the minute you frame it,” she says.
• Keep your lashes dark and draw a light line at the lash base, which will help open your eyes up behind the lenses.

Your smile is probably the first thing others notice about you, but don’t be too quick to jump into new whitening technologies, Beaulac says. “People go crazy on teeth whitening. Don’t damage them to get them as white as possible unless you’re a movie star. Some people have naturally ivory teeth.”

Finally, she reminds us that beauty is an inside job. “If you have a habit that’s causing you to want plastic surgery – say, smoking, frowning, eating too much – you’ll still end up with the same problem,” she says, “If you have stress in your life, that will show up in your face.”

So get thee to yoga, put down the BlackBerry, dust off that novel you’ve wanted to read and pour yourself a good cup of tea. After all, you’ve earned it.

40licious Style: Shopping and Organizing Your Closet

This is our second post from an interview with Audrey Beaulac, who tells us things we probably already knew, but couldn't put into words.

Audrey Beaulac is very 40licious

Style strategist Audrey Beaulac wants you to throw out anything you don’t love, doesn’t make you feel good, or is no longer working for you. Especially your fat clothes.

“Like a big handbag, big sweatpants will fill up. When your normal clothes start feeling tight, that’s the warning for you to cut back,” she says.

But perhaps none of your clothes fit that well anymore. “You have to be realistic about who you are,” she says, and your 40s is a really important time to define your style. “A lot of clothes in your closet come with a story. You should only have good stories in your closet. Get rid of the self-recrimination in your closet.”

Assessing takes a while. Leave some space to thoroughly go over what you can let go from your closet, and to understand what is still working well. “It’s OK to like what you like,” Beaulac says.

What if you’re still not sure if something is a tosser? “Get your picture taken in it,” Beaulac says, “then get ready to work. Instead of condemning yourself, get ready for some feedback. When you do it on film. You don’t have the same projection cycle as you do in the mirror.”

The trick to keep in mind is to play up your assets and make sure the clothes you keep are highlighting the good stuff you’ve got. If you focus on something you don’t like about your body, say a poochy belly or wide hips, chances are you’ll subconsciously draw attention to them in your clothing. And no matter who you are and how you look, a little advice from Mom goes a long way: keep your posture long and straight, and keep your voice strong but soft.

Jared! Throw out your fat pants!

For building your improved wardrobe, Beaulac suggests starting with the basics: your underwear. As your body changes, chances are your bra size will too, and you most likely are due for a bra fitting. “Be realistic,” she says. She suggests Nordstrom or Linda the Bra Lady. “Look for silhouettes that make you feel good about yourself.

The rear view is equally important – there should be no pantylines. “Spanx are great, but remember, anywhere you squish in, it’s going to come out somewhere else,” Beaulac says.

When you’re ready to move forward with your wardrobe, don’t pay attention to size – fit is what matters. If you’re ordering online, measure yourself and match that to the site’s size chart. And don’t get too attached to the product until it arrives and it works. “Internet ordering is getting better and better about returns,” she says, calling out Amazon.com, Zappos and Boutiques.com as good examples of pleasant and efficient shopping experiences.

She offers this caveat, however: “If you’re looking around and there are boxes all over the place and the clothes are not making you feel very good about yourself, you need to reassess.”

Feeling forlorn about how to conquer all this? Arrange a clothing swap, aka “Naked Lady Party” with your girlfriends. It’s the perfect excuse to take a harsh edit of your closet, takes some risks with new looks, and get honest advice from people who care. Best of all, it doesn’t cost a dime and you can donate all the leftovers to charity.

NEXT UP IN 40LICIOUS STYLE: FINISHING TOUCHES

40licious Style: Dressing the Part

From Tahari

There is a lot to love about style strategist Audrey Beaulac. First, there’s her career trajectory – she’s been on staff at Yale School of Drama costuming department, and has directed the look of a $700 million Hyatt resort in Hawaii, from desk to top-ranking staff. She’s been trusted by politicians, executives and other VIPs to help define their look and “visual signature.” But the main reasons I love Audrey, whom I met nearly a decade ago in Seattle, is because she is so smart and funny and warm. She’s the kind of person who tells you straight up how it is, in the nicest way possible. The knowledge she imparted to me back in the day of an eclectic closet and uncertain personal style have served me well to this day.

Today, she divides her time between Washington, DC and Seattle and is the go-to style reference for authors such as Charla Krupp, Danielle LaPorte and Laura Leist.

I interviewed her about what people – especially women – need to consider as they navigate their 40s. We got so much that we ended up with what will be a series of postings on 40licious Style.

Today: Dressing the Part: How Women in Their 40s Claim Authority

Women in their 40s are a powerful force, style strategist Audrey Beaulac says. We are credited with 25 percent of all the billions of dollars spent on fashion each year, she says, adding that, “We’re a little bit smarter, older, more thoughtful in our choices. We’re producers. We can produce a lot.”

That’s why it’s important for women to present themselves with the authority they’ve earned – while not aging themselves.

Melanie Griffith is current -- for 1988

Consider the 40-something woman in your office who is competent and smart – and disastrously frumpy, with the 1980’s shoulder pads, matching matronly skirt, and flats that have seen a tad too many shuffles to the conference room.  Come on, you know this woman. You might even be this woman.

Dowdy dressing, says Beaulac, “is a hangover from how we came up in the business world. Being dumpy isn’t taken more seriously than being in a skirt that’s too short.”

She advises women to ditch the pants that are too high-waisted, collars that are too tight or too high, pleated denim skirts and the A-lines, and focus, instead, on staying current. “Being current doesn’t mean being trendy. It’s going forward.”

“Part of that frumpy business look also comes from not being well groomed,” Beaulac says. No-no’s include:

• A haircut that is no longer working
• Bad hair color: color too flat, wrong hue, or not keeping up with highlights
• Makeup that’s been the same for two years or more
• Neglected manicure

She says that if women in their 40s are still doing the “grab and go” lifestyle – throwing on whatever clothes don’t smell bad and leaving home with wet hair, they’ll be fighting an uphill battle. “In order to be taken seriously, you have to be put together… How you dress is the introduction to the story of who you are.”

            Beaulac recommends dressing in columns, in neutrals, and with no high-contrast transitions. “When you’re presenting in a power position, don’t cut your body in two. Pay attention to your face; it’s your communication center. That might mean lighter on top, and wearing necklaces. Bring your focus up.”

So the beige twinset with the black pants and beige shoes may seem completely inoffensive, but the result is choppy, and drawing attention wherever the sweater ends. Better: Pair the black pants with a darker top or jacket and dark shoes, to elongate the look. “The more vertical your appearance, the slimmer you’ll feel.”

The other thing to keep in mind for daring fashionistas who like to radically change their looks: “If you are not creating a consistent impression, people can’t get a handle on you. They won’t trust you.”

Beaulac suggests we take a tip from those in the public eye: “The biggest secret of the A-list people is the strategic use of style to tell the world that they know who they are.  They wear the clothes; the clothes don’t wear them. Those who either rely too much on outsiders or choose blindly end up with bad haircuts, lots of unused make-up and clothes that don’t work even though they should.  Instinct is the wisdom; reasoned analysis implements the wisdom consistently.” 

Coming up next: SHOPPING FOR AND ORGANIZING YOUR 40LICIOUS WARDROBE