Style: The Most Flattering Hairstyles for Women in Their 40s

Photo: Allure

Allure magazine is calling out the most flattering haircuts for women in their 40s. They're all pretty classic styles: What I'm not seeing is choppy bangs, pixie cuts or anything too poofy. This is a good reminder to keep it real: If you're trying too hard or not trying at all, you'll just look old and sad.

And who else is in love with Michelle Obama's bangs? I think they deserve their own office.

Photo: Allure

 

Style: Shoe Season Begins Now

Gucci "Lisbeth" red patent leather Mary Jane peep-toe pump

The holidays are arriving quickly. I know this because I made a pumpkin-cream cheese swirly cake thing and ate half of it the day before I was going to enter it in the work Halloween baking contest. So I had to make another. (I won the contest, if you were wondering.) 

Which brings me to shoes. The pre-holiday season is really about shoes, not just because of leftover back-to-school feeling, but also because no matter how much we eat, we will fit in our shoes. The right shoe is the difference between you owning the room and merely displacing some air in it. Also, you can wear the same black dress every year and nobody will really notice or care, but the right accessories can send you home with a charming English base player just in town for a few days on tour. 

So I've recently interviewed a bunch of shoe experts for my book, including my new girl crush Meghan Cleary, from whom you will hear in the coming days. But first up is Linda Arroz, co-author of "Affordable Couture" and major fashion influencer.

Linda Arroz

About style: "What works in our 20s and 30s may not work for us in our 40s.  By the time you're 40 you may be well on your way to establishing a professional image in your career. In your 20s, you were more carefree, experimented with fashion, had a lot of fun and maybe even changed jobs a few times. The 30s bring about some clarity, maturity and are about building a body of work, perhaps having children."

About trends: "Unless you're a model, actress or exotic dancer, a lot of trendy stilettos may not work in your favor, especially at work. That's not to mean you can't be fashionable. A stylish platform pump with a high heel works for women in their 40s, while a shoe with 'no-heel' could make you look like you're trying too hard to be cool."

Indulge in the "no heel" look at your peril.

About classics: "Some shoes are timeless, like a 2-inch heel pump with either a pointed or oval toe box. Find your fit in a shoe like this and buy it in the season's trend color or material, as well as black. Try colored suedes in the fall, and leopard print, which has become a fashion classic, can be worn all year long in any style of shoe. Looking fashionable from head to toe means evaluating the shoe. Often the entire outfit is based around the shoe, if it's not right, everything looks off, regardless of your age, but especially in your 40s. If you work in a creative field, all bets are off. You wouldn't wear shoes or boots with lots of buckles and studs with a work suit, unless you work for an advertising agency or as a fashion designer."

About comfort: "Comfort counts more as you get older, but you don't have to sacrifice style. In your 40s you may be traveling or attending trade shows for work, or keeping up with your children. A lot of high-end shoe designers like Stuart Weitzman say that lower heels and flats are their most popular styles. Why else would the perennial ballet flat be so fashionable? If your feet hurt, it will show, and body language gives off signals. When you're in your 40s your confidence levels should be at an all time high. Don't give it all away because your desire to wear ill-fitting or higher heels won over logic. Podiatrists and other medical experts have been telling us for years about the health hazards of wearing stilettos. The higher the heel, the balls of the feet take on the bulk of your weight. Combined with a more narrow toe area, called the toe box, women experience a variety of problems like bunions and hammer toes. Do an internet search for celebrity feet, for example, and you'll see links to ugly and hideous feet suffering from these exact issues. Logic suggests that women's feet aren't shaped like a triangle, yet most women's shoes feature a narrower shape near the toes. High heels and platform shoes are often the culprits in ankle and feet fractures. I'm a fashion victim myself, having broken my left foot twice. The first time, my foot twisted sideways wearing cork wedgies, and a few years later, my fabulous burn out velvet platform slides bumped up against an uneven sidewalk and caused me to fall and twist the foot. I've since learned my lesson. Try watching women walking in their high heels. You'll observe the instability of the feet and ankle. Even runway models have been known to fall off their shoes. (Mashable posted a compilation video of models slipping and falling on the catwalk.)

A classic example is from an episode of 'Sex & The City' (season four, episode 'The Real Me') when Carrie slipped and fell down on the runway."

Style: 40licious Women Getting Edgy with Their Hair

New York Times photo

One thing you finally learn when you're 40licious, hopefully, is where your hair can and can't go. For example, in 1982, I decided I wanted an asymetrical cut, short on one side, angled down the back, then long on the other. Which would have been on trend if I had thick, straight, shiny hair. I do not have thick, straight, shiny hair. I have very curly hair with a mind of its own. And back then the best I could do in the way of styling produts was Dippity Do that I had to sneak into our shopping cart.

When you are 40licious, you are also, hopefully, rocking your own bad self. Like a slew of women 40 and older who are filing into salons demanding cuts on the wild side, reports the New York Times.

Come on, how about a few pink tips, just to keep it fun?

Style: Mixed Chicks Tell How to Rock the Hair Your Mama Gave You

Mixed Chicks are Wendi Levy and Kim Etheredge

Today we're so happy to talk to the chicks behind Mixed Chicks, a cruelty-free and vegan natural hair care brand specially formulated for multi-textured hair.

1. What is the most important thing women in their 40s need to know about their hair?
That they are stuck with what God gave them!! Actually that now that we are in our 40's there is no better time than now to take chances and wear the styles you never thought you would. If you're looking to go natural go for it. Whatever your heart desires you should fulfill.

2. Let's talk about style: What worked back in the day that won't serve us well today?
I would have to say the jheri-curl and the shaved look on the side. Now women can wear their hair in a curly style without the greasy, smelly product that can ruin your clothes and pillowcases and have curls that flow and move naturally. There are so many products on the market that can help one achieve the look for their specific curl pattern. In the 80's it was popular to shave off one's side of the head and women today were trying to bring that back. It's not really in your best interest because the waiting time for your hair to grow back in and the awkwardness of the way it looks is enough to stay away!

3. What advice does Mixed Chicks give to a woman who has a radically different look for work and for play?
Versatility Rocks!!!

BONUS GIVEAWAY: "Like" us on Facebook between now and July 1, 2012, at www.facebook.com/40licious and get the chance to win a free Mixed Chicks leave-in conditioner, perfect for your gorgeous summer hair.

Mixed Chicks offers a complete hair care line at more than 350 stores and will be expanding to more than 700 in July, including Target and target.com.

Style: How to Fix a Hole in a Cashmere Sweater

While our boots straighten themselves up in the closet, anxiously awaiting to traipse and frolic in the chill of fall, our cashmere tends to come out beaten and defeated from wily critters that take a bite from the most inconvenient places. It makes me sad.

Here's a cashmere sweater I got for $1 at the thrift store. I figured I could darn the hole, but as I looked closer I got a better inspiration: Patch it. In a cool way.

So I ransacked my fabric bag and found the remains of a T-shirt I'd recycled as a dress for a friend's baby. Then I found an image of a bird silhoutte I liked online, and to make it the right size, just copied it to a Word document and expanded it. Then I cut it out and traced around it on the T-shirt fabric, and sewed it on with black thread.

Sad for me but happily for someone else, it turns out this sweater is a little TOO complimentary to my bustline, so I will end up passing it along.

Send in your stories and pictures of [clothing] salvation and we'll feature them on 40licious!

I liked the bird so much he lives on my window now.

Style: Use Coupon Codes for Online Shopping

If the surfing you do today is more on the web than on the waves, try these coupon codes for smokin' hot deals:

1. Kohl's: Take 15% off everything with coupon STACK15.
2. Ann Taylor: Extra 40% off Sale Styles with code EXTRA40.
3. Sears: Get $20 off orders of $200 or more with coupon code FIREWORKS.
4. The Body Shop: Get $10 off orders of $40 or more with coupon code 10OFF.
5. Coldwater Creek: Receive $20 off orders of $80 or more with coupon AFLC628.
6. Sierra Trading Post: Save 20% off your order with code ALVJUNE1.
7. Crate and Barrel: Get 15% off all outdoor furniture purchases.
8. Finish Line: Take $10 off orders of $60 or more with coupon code GAN2011.
9. HP: Get $30 off orders of $150 or more with code SAVE30HP.
10. Shoes.com: Take 20% off your order with code SECRET20.

This great info today comes from our friends at www.CouponSherpa.com, which is one of four websites operating under the brand name www.TheFrugals.com and is dedicated to helping consumers save money and live more frugally. Other members of The Frugals family include GiftCardGranny.com, MrFreeStuff.com and MrsSweepstakes.com.

Style: Don't Be Invisible

If you have to be invisible, do it like Jessica Alba.

My husband, Steve, and I got on the shuttle bus that took us from the LAX terminal to get our car. A woman in a pink sweatsuit got on. I looked at her. Matronly, short haircut. Of no particular color, just ashy. Maybe some makeup. Maybe some glasses. And then I realized she was about my age. In her 40s. I felt overwhelmingly sad.

I turned to Steve. "Tell me please, if I ever become invisible like that."

Now I don't know any back story on Pink Sweatsuit. Maybe she's a fashion rock star by day and she just happened to get off a 24-hour trans-Pacific flight from somewhere exotic. I'm talking more about the complaint I hear more and more often from my 50licious and 60licious sisters. "I'm invisible." They feel ignored by society and passed over in public. They have to speak up to let people know they are there.

But then I think of the women I know who are not invisible: All my 40licious girlfriends. My aunt Corinne who looks exactly the same as she did in 1970, not a gray hair on her head. My cousins Elizabeth, Maggie and Siobhan, who are whip-smart, funny as hell and have never stopped turning heads. My mom, an ethereal being with her long white hair, quip for everyone and prima ballerina posture.

Maybe sometimes you want to be invisible, like when you have a cold and have to slog to the grocery store for some Nyquil. Or when you're walking the dog and going straight back to bed after. Or maybe you just had a baby and it's all you can do to put on your own clean underwear. Other than that, I can't think of any good reasons.

Here are some 40licious ways to avoid being invisible:
1. Take a second to put on lip gloss, even if you aren't wearing other makeup. Even if you are alone. I carry about six with me at all times.
2. Comfy clothes that fit well = good. Comfy clothes that are roomy enough to hold a family of wombats and their friends = bad.
3. For your hair, pick a color. Any color. Just pick something. And if you can't "do" something with it, add a cute hat, scarf or pile it in an knot on your head.
4. If your wardrobe and eyeglasses are from the presidential era of George H.W. Bush or before, you need to go shopping.
4. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile.
5. Exercise regularly, or start walking places. Your chi, or life energy, is your true beauty.

Style: Sylvie Levine on How to Wear Jewelry, Day or Night, Work or Play

"I feel that a woman in her 40’s is more secure and centered in her personal style. I think she is less affected by trends and desires pieces that are more meaningful and lasting."

Jewelry designer Sylvie Levine knows a thing or two about how to rock your rocks: She was born and raised in Antwerp, Belgium in the center of the world’s diamond trade. The third generation of her family to be in the diamond business, Sylvie developed a passion for both all of the business at a young age. Today, her collection, Sylvie, is gaining traction in the fine jewelry industry. She works along side her husband designing diamond engagement rings, wedding bands and bridal jewelry, and is dedicated to helping every bride find the perfect ring for them.

Sylvie Levine is so gorgeous she doesn't even NEED jewelry to shine.

1. How does our relationship to jewelry change when we're in our 40s?
I feel that a woman in her 40’s is more secure and centered in her personal style. I think she is less affected by trends and desires pieces that are more meaningful and lasting. I hope that most women are in a place where they are comfortable with who they are—and that confidence allows us to be more in control of our fashion and jewelry wardrobes. At this point in our lives we can say what we want and what we deserve… And, then, we can even purchase it for ourselves! In our business we see customers having more of a disposable income and willing to make a self purchase.

2. What does a woman's jewelry say about her?
A woman’s jewelry is highly personal and makes a statement of about her style, individuality, creativity and/or personal values (ie: religious symbols, etc).
A woman in her 40’s knows what she wants to wear because she is more certain of what makes her look and feel good. She is also able to communicate that better and seek it out more than she might have in her earlier years.
Some women may choose really bold items, which would tell you about her bold personality and comfort to show it off. Others prefer classics or sentimental items, which can show their feminine or romantic side.

3. Are there do's and don'ts for day/night and office/play, or does anything go?
Maybe it is because of my European upbringing, but I’m inclined to say that in 2011 anything goes! We live in a culture that is no longer restricted—so business environments are leaning towards casual attire and women are no longer forced to wear pantyhose and full makeup to work. If you love diamonds, why be limited to when you can wear them? Being a designer that primarily works in diamonds, I tend to keep my larger more showy pieces for evening and wear my more wearable diamond pieces during the day. I like to guide my customers to pick jewelry that can be worn with jeans, casual outfit, as well as with a dressy outfit. The beauty of fashion today is the mix of casual and dressy—and high and low-end designers. I think a great pair of diamond studs can be easily worn with jeans, a pair of flipflops or Louboutins.

4. What advice would you offer someone who wants to go into the jewelry business?
My first advice would be that you have to be very passionate about this industry. Secondly if you are going into fine jewelry it does take a large amount of financial commitment. The advantage I’ve had is that I have been able to work from a young age in different areas of the industry which all culminated into what I do now. It helped tremendously to understand all the different aspects of the business. The personal and emotional side of it is very rewarding and challenging as a designer and the face of a growing brand.


5. Anything else you'd like to share about being 40licious?
I’m living the best decade of my life right now!! I have learned to stick to my own values and not worry about what others think or how others live their lives. One of my favorite quotes applies to that “To Be Yourself in a World That is Constantly Trying To Make You Someone Else, Is The Greatest Accomplishment of All,” Ralph Waldo Emerson. I would not trade my 40’s for my 30’s – I say it to all my younger friends who worry getting there. We are so much wiser and therefore more confident and clear about our paths.

Work: How to Be Your Own Best Publicist and Get the Job You Want

"Today, 80 percent of senior jobs are acquired through personal relationships and, as a 40licious woman, you likely have a large group of friends and family that you can tap to unearth professional opportunities. Your network is your net worth, so start reaching out to people even before you want or need something." - Jessica Kleiman and Meryl Weinsaft Cooper, "Be Your Own Best Publicist"

Today we have a Q & A with co-authors and veteran publicists Jessica Kleiman and Meryl Weinsaft Cooper, the authors of "Be Your Own Best Publicist: How to Use PR Techniques to Get Noticed, Hired, and Rewarded at Work." Whether you're looking for a job or just want to do better in the one you have, it's a book well worth the quick read.


1. Some women in their 40s are just now getting serious about working now that their kids are old enough. What personal PR advice do you have for someone who may not have as stellar a resume as her peers?

First, do your research. What kind of job are you looking for and what are the skills that you need to get your foot in the door? Find profiles for people in positions that you’re interested in and see how they talk about their experience. What in your background parallels theirs? If you need to fill the gap, consider taking an internship or even signing up for classes at a local college. It’s about playing up your strengths and highlighting what you have accomplished. If you don’t have ton of office or professional experience, take a look at skills you may have cultivated in college, in your volunteer work or even in your day-to-day life.


2. By the time we are 40licious, many of us may have more experience than our bosses. How do we maintain our dignity when we know the manager is way off base?

Keep it in perspective. There’s clearly a reason why he or she is in that position of power. Think of it as an opportunity to learn to manage up. Listen to direction and feedback; you may need to defer to the manager if he or she isn’t open to dialogue. Share your opinions but don’t be too pushy; gauge if the manager is open to feedback and give it in a constructive way that invites a two-way conversation. Resist the urge to complain with co-workers or air your dirty laundry on social media sites. Instead, do the best job you can in whatever you do and document your successes as you go along. Ultimately, you’re responsible for being your own best publicist in the workplace. Do that by being supportive of your boss and teammates, adding value, and making sure you stay focused on your strengths.


3. Even though the economy is improving, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of folks vying for the same job. How can a 40licious woman stand out among people who may have lower salary requirements -- or people who have 15 years' more experience?

There’s never been a more important time to stand out in a good way. Do that by doing your research before walking into an interview or meeting and being clear about the unique strengths and perspective you bring to the table. Today, 80 percent of senior jobs are acquired through personal relationships and, as a 40licious woman, you likely have a large group of friends and family that you can tap to unearth professional opportunities. Your network is your net worth, so start reaching out to people even before you want or need something. And, finally – in this day and age where the art of the thank you card has gone out the window, a tried and true way to stand out is to send a hand-written note after any meeting or interview. In Be Your Own Best Publicist, we share a story about a woman who takes it one step further, using vintage Wonder Woman cards to follow up on meetings. Not only do these stand out from an aesthetic standpoint, but they also demonstrate her humor and send the subliminal message that she herself is a “wonder woman.” Consider the small touches that could speak volumes about who you are and what you want to do.


4. Let's talk for a minute about appearance. Are there any rules that 40licious women need to keep in mind while dressing for a job. We want to be taken seriously, but don't make us frumpy!

As you see in movies from “My Fair Lady” to “Mean Girls,” how one looks is as much of a calling card as the one in your wallet. In Be Your Own Best Publicist, Stylist Sarah Shirley says, “A good haircut and shoes are the bookends to any outfit. Everything else you can improvise.” First and foremost, you want to dress for the occasion. We like to say: Don’t wear a ball gown to a ballgame. When in doubt, select classic pieces to which you can add your own signature touches – like a cool pair of classes or a distinctive vintage broach. Make sure your clothing is tailored appropriately and that you feel comfortable in it. We share more tips from other top stylists in the book.


5. I loved the anecdotes in the book about people who started blogs or targeted Google searches toward to specific employers. What other advice can you share for your online presence? And is it a bad thing if a woman in her 40s has zero online presence?

Social media can be a great tool in promoting oneself and making connections that will help you in your career. If you’re seeking a new job, you really should try to cultivate a social media savvyness. Start by creating a Facebook and Twitter presence and putting your resume on LinkedIn. But know that while it’s important to have a strong digital presence, it can also be a double-edged sword since everything you put online becomes part of your public record. According to a poll by social media site Mashable.com, over 45 percent of employers now proactively screen social media profiles. The lesson? Be careful what you post: What you put into the digital ether creates your online resume—often the first impression that people have of you. For example, think of your status as an expensive billboard in Times Square. Don’t just throw any old thing up there. Even something as innocuous as vacation photos can have ramifications—what if you called in sick the day the image was time-stamped for and your boss happens to catch your mistake? Instead, consider each and every piece of information you put out there. Knowledge is power, and you want to be the one holding the cards.


6. Anything else you'd like to tell us about Be Your Own Best Publicist?

Most everyday people can’t afford to hire their own publicist to help them build a personal platform or image that makes an impact. The goal of this book is to teach people how to apply, to their own careers, the practices and skills PR professionals have used during the past century to influence public opin­ion. In today’s world, where jobs are at a premium, image is paramount and your digital footprint is set in cement, it is even more crucial to know how to promote yourself to stand out in a positive way in the workplace, whether you’re looking to get hired, move up in the ranks at your current job or hoping to land that new client.

Money: Shoe Shopping and You - Where Do You Rank?

A new poll in the April 2011 edition of ShopSmart magazine, from the publisher of Consumer Reports, found that:

• Women own an average of 17 pairs of shoes (down from 19 four years ago) yet only typically wear three of those pairs on a regular basis. 
• Over half of women (51 percent) own more than 10 pairs and 13 percent have more than 30 pairs (not including athletic shoes). 
• Women typically purchase three pairs a year and, on average, spend $49 on a pair of shoes, while nearly one-third (31 percent) have ever spent over $100 on a single pair.

“Shoes never make your butt look big, you don’t have to worry about squeezing into them if you’ve put on a couple of pounds, and they can instantly make you feel sexier. Maybe that’s why, despite the economy, we’re still buying shoes,” said Lisa Lee Freeman, editor-in-chief of ShopSmart. “So we’ve compiled a guide to share the hottest trends, the most addictive shoe-shopping websites, how to pick a pair that won’t kill your feet, and an investigation into the difference between a $30 and $575 pair of shoes.”

Online ‘Sole’ Searching

• Almost a third (29 percent) of American women are buying shoes online, a significant increase from four years ago when only 14 percent were buying shoes online.
• More than one third (39 percent) of those who have purchased shoes online have made a return.
• Nearly one-fifth (19 percent) have gone shoe shopping to cheer themselves up.
• Although the majority of women (86 percent) are up front with their spouse or significant other about their shoe purchase, 14% admit to hiding at least one purchase.
• Over one quarter (28 percent) feel shoes are an important part of their outfit indicating that they put a lot of thought into selecting them each day. Plus over half of women (51percent) typically notice shoes other people are wearing.
• For everyday footwear, women prefer flats as 39 percent of women indicate that it is the preferred heel height. Only 8 percent of women wear heels over 2 ½" on a regular basis.
• Despite a preference for flats, one quarter have worn heels 4” or higher on at least one occasion.
• Forty-six percent of women have bought an ugly pair for comfort, but more women are willing to tolerate pain for fashion—60 percent vs. 49 percent—than they were in 2007.
• Women take precautions for the pain as 61 percent have carried a second pair of shoes to a party or event to change into.
• The Taming of the Shoe
• Forty-eight percent have had a shoe-related injury (blister, break, sprain, etc.).
• Thirty-five percent of women had an evening ruined by an uncomfortable pair of shoes.
• Twenty-four percent have fallen because of their shoes.

ShopSmart’s Tips on Finding a Great Fit and Avoid Shoes That Look and Feel Cheap
HEEL CUP This is the curved back of the shoe that contains and supports your heel. It should fit snugly enough to provide support and prevent slipping while walking, yet not be so tight or stiff that it causes discomfort, which can lead to blisters.
STRAPS A strappy sandal or pump provides extra breathability. Straps and laces also let you adjust shoes to fit your foot. Just make sure they don’t rub. Elastic is better than rigid straps, as long as it doesn’t cut into your foot. T-straps support the front of the foot.
PADDING AND ARCH SUPPORT Press down with your fingers inside the shoe: The more springiness, the better they’ll feel. Some brands incorporate extra cushioning at key pressure points (Cole Haan with Nike Air technology, Hush Puppies, Kenneth Cole’s Gentle Souls line). A shoe’s arch should match the location of your own.
THE HEEL If you like a heel, aim for one that’s between a half-inch and 2½ or 3 inches max. Anything higher can cause foot and back pain. The wider the heel, the more stable the shoe: A platform or stacked heel trumps a stiletto. The heel should be positioned under the center of your own heel, not set too far back. And of course, a closed heel adds stability to a shoe or sandal.
DEGREE OF INCLINE A gradual ascent puts less pressure on the ball of the foot.
THE SOLE You want some firmness and note that a softsoled ballet flat is no better than a slipper. Rubber or leather beats flimsy plastic.
ORNAMENTATION If the shoe has buckles or other decorative trimmings, make sure they’re not attached where your foot bends, like across your toes, or they might be killers.
TOP STITCHING Shoes with tiny chain stitches around the top can’t be stretched, and the leather is less pliable. Exposed stitches inside shoes can rub and irritate toes. So can linings that peel back, so look for a full lining, top and bottom, heel to toe. Calfskin is more breathable than cheaper pigskin (which can be identified by small, visible pores).
THE UPPER Go natural. Suede is the softest, foot-friendliest material, followed by breathable leather. Fabrics are fine if they’re not stiff. Patent and mirrored leathers have coatings that make them less pliable, and synthetics are the least forgiving.

I just bought these Danksos from Zappos and can't say enough good things about them.

THE TOE BOX Round or almond shape toe boxes mirror the foot’s shape and have room for toes to spread out. There should be enough room for your toes to move as you walk, yet not so much that your foot slides around in the toe box. Pointy shoes aren’t necessarily bad; make sure the exaggerated tip starts half an inch after the base of your toes.

COMMENT: What's your favorite place to buy shoes?

Fashion: Fashionista's Most Influntial List Includes Women over 40

“There are a lot of people over 40, those are the people leading the industry. They’ve been around longer and they know how it works.” 

Iconic Vogue editor Anna Wintour

Fashionista, a fashion news and resource website, recently revealed its Most Influential People in New York Fashion list. Among them were at least five women over 40.

• Vogue editor Anna Wintour
• J. Crew designer Jenna Lyons
• Vogue stylist Grace Coddington
• Japanese and Italian Vogue editor Lori Goldstein
• Former Barney’s fashion director Julie Gilhart

To determine the winners, said Fashionista’s executive editor Lauren Sherman, “We used our own knowledge of the industry, combined with advice from industry sources. We also considered each candidate’s consumer reach–through sales, media, etcetera .”

Sherman said that we tend to think of fashion as a young industry, and it’s really not. “There are a lot of people over 40, those are the people leading the industry. They’ve been around longer and they know how it works.”

The traits the leaders share are that they are creative, willing to adapt to change, and they’re developing new ideas – all important in an industry that is in a constant state of flux.

J. Crew designer Jenna Lyons

The legendary Vogue editor Anna Wintour is especially influential, for example, “because she makes a lot of deals behind the scenes, referring young consulting designers, serving as a bridge between retailers and designers.”

“Someone like Jenna Lyons is just such an amazing example for all women,” Sherman says, citing Lyons’ balance of family and work life. “ There’s so much talk about that you can have it all – that idea is dated. You should have a full life no matter what that means.”

Designer fashion is a 40licious game, as mass retailers target women in their 20s. Sherman said. “Women under 30 can’t afford most designer stuff. On a designer level there’s a lot of stuff for women in their 40s.”

Sherman says that there are no hard rules for 40licious fashion. “Women should wear what looks good, don’t just follow trends. It’s about researching and finding your own style. “It’s never too late.”

See the Fashionista 50 slideshow.

40licious Style: Breast in Show, or, Don't Rock Your Boobs at Work

Breasts: Something we can all get behind on Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m very aware that we’re all in different places romantically – some of us are blissfully partnered, others are happily single, some in relationships about to implode, and still others are unsatisfied going it alone. So we’re not going to talk about love in the regular way.

The thing I would like us all to celebrate today -- one of the few things we 40licious women have in common -- is our breasts. If you’re not completely titillated with them already, I want you to fall in madly love with yours, be they perky, ginormous, re-created, enhanced, barely there or the source of an infant’s feeding frenzy. They are the first part of you that enters a room, so treat them accordingly. Dress them. Take them out for a walk. Admire them in the mirror and perhaps write a little poem for them. 

Author Elisabeth Dale

One of the breast, er, best experts on the subject is Elisabeth Dale, also known as “The Boob Lady.” She’s the author of “Boobs: a Guide to Your Girls.”

Although all women own their breasts, expert Dale says that really, there is only one entity that claims them in this country, which she calls the “Breast Industrial Complex”: The porn industry.

“The porn industry has an exclusive lock on showing nipples, so nobody in the general public gets to see them. So when people try to breast feed in public people freak out. All they are is part of a baby bottle when you’re nursing. To see people to reject nursing in 2011 is insane to me.”

Nursing is good for the baby, and also good for preventing breast cancer, she says. It’s Dale’s job to take the bewilderment out of breast ownership, and to stop feeling bad about them.

“Our boobs are like living targets, they’re constantly changing,” she says. “We often see the ‘ideal’ breast in the media, on a 20-25 year-old. Very few women look like that. Most of those women are photoshopped. Cleavage doesn’t exist in nature – it’s a bra pushing their breasts up to their chin.”

DRESSING YOUR BREAST
Whether it’s from gravity or pregnancy, your breasts will be different than they were at 25. Same as if you gain or lose as little as 5 pounds.

“There’s a great deal of wisdom behind the 40-year-old breast,” Dale says. “A 25-year-old might not appreciate her body. A 40-year-old woman is more comfortable in her skin, unless she has major body image issues. She understands that nobody’s perfect, only 1 percent of women have a model figure. “

To best dress your breasts, she says that a professional fitting is crucial – and NOT from the Victoria’s Secret, where the fitters are generally very young, but from Nordstrom or a small boutique with a variety of bras. The good news on the lingerie front is that there are more choices than ever for beautiful lingerie in any size.

“If you’re physically active, wear a really good sports bra,” she says. This will help prevent pain and tissue stretching. Those of us who rock a large B, C or bigger cup should get an “encapsulator” bra that separates the breasts. Our sleeker sisters in an A or small B cup can get away with the “compressor” bra (that sometimes results in the dreaded “uniboob” if it doesn’t fit right).

We know our breasts are beyond powerful. Presented properly, they can steal the show and cause immense distraction and distress. Not to mention the sexual pleasure they bring to everyone involved.

But Dale has a word of advice for bringing them to work: “If it’s not in your job description, don’t write it in.” Cleavage in the workplace doesn’t help your credibility unless you’re a waitress or in the entertainment industry.

“You wouldn’t wear shorts to a job interview, you wouldn’t wear tennis shoes with a suit,” she says. “What’s the message you’re trying to send?”


The next post with Elisabeth Dale will be about the breast health – how to get it and keep it.

40licious Style: Faux Fur

Today's contribution comes from the smart folks over at The Thread via Yahoo!'s Shine site. They say that women in their 40s should go for an elegant, classic fur look. I'm thinking about those Blackgama ads on bus shelters that used to captivate me as a child in New York. It's all the fun without the cruelty.

Sophia Loren, 1982

 

If you want to see more Blackgama glam through the ages, check out Fashion's Most Wanted.

40licious Style: Doing Hair and Choosing Glasses in Your 40s

Style Strategist Audrey Beaulac has told us at 40licious that we need to get rid of the fat clothes and self-recrimination in our closets. That we need to start dressing the part of the wise women we are in order to be taken seriously. Today is the third post in our 40licious Style series with Beaulac in which we discuss finishing off your own signature look.

If you’re in your 40s and spending an inordinate amount of time and money on your tresses, style strategist Audrey Beaulac wants to know one thing: “Why are you fighting your natural hair?”

Chances are, you have a family or career or social life – or combination of any of those – that take a lot of time. Why would you waste precious minutes on your hair?

“Skin and hair change in your 40s,” she says. “In your 40s you likely don’t have to wash your hair as often.” So that’s good news – there are lots of ways to repurpose yesterday’s hairstyle.

The first stop is getting a really good cut, Beaulac says. “ I know people who spend thousands on their clothes but get a cheap haircut.” If you have a bad cut, it will never behave. It will grow out and you’ll just end up putting it into a ponytail all the time. Your hair will become your enemy. Nobody wants that.

"The Rachel." What were we all thinking?

There are two people in a hair relationship: you and your stylist. At least one of you has to be a progressive and positive force. So if you’re insisting on the same cut you’ve had since you were 25, kiss The Rachel goodbye and let your stylist bring you into 2011. If your stylist can’t make the transition, you may have to bid adieu.

When you’re at the first appointment with a new hairdresser, Beaulac says, that is not the time or place to ask for radical transition. Pictures aren’t helpful if he or she doesn’t have a sense of how you live and who you are, if you’ll commit to color, and if you’ll be able to use product correctly.

You’ll also want your stylist to help you with a reality check. Beaulac recalls a client who always kept her badly home-colored hair in a bun. Her rationale: “I play tennis and want to pull it back.” She was gently coaxed into getting a sleek bob. She also let it go gray naturally, and got her natural lustrous shine back.

Being a 40licious person, you also may need to start thinking about glasses. Ordering the rare squid parfait on a menu because you can’t read it won’t make you look any younger. Even Beaulac herself once waited 12 extra hours in the airport because she was too vain to put her readers on, and mistook 8 p.m. for 8 a.m. on her ticket.

Audrey Beaulac rocking big frames. Own it, woman!

“You’re 40, you’re not fooling anyone, the gig is up! If you need them to see, you need them to see,” she says.

She offers this advice on choosing and wearing frames:

• Take a picture of yourself in them to see how you really look.
• Almost as important as your frames is how your eyebrows look. “The painting changes the minute you frame it,” she says.
• Keep your lashes dark and draw a light line at the lash base, which will help open your eyes up behind the lenses.

Your smile is probably the first thing others notice about you, but don’t be too quick to jump into new whitening technologies, Beaulac says. “People go crazy on teeth whitening. Don’t damage them to get them as white as possible unless you’re a movie star. Some people have naturally ivory teeth.”

Finally, she reminds us that beauty is an inside job. “If you have a habit that’s causing you to want plastic surgery – say, smoking, frowning, eating too much – you’ll still end up with the same problem,” she says, “If you have stress in your life, that will show up in your face.”

So get thee to yoga, put down the BlackBerry, dust off that novel you’ve wanted to read and pour yourself a good cup of tea. After all, you’ve earned it.

40licious Style: Shopping and Organizing Your Closet

This is our second post from an interview with Audrey Beaulac, who tells us things we probably already knew, but couldn't put into words.

Audrey Beaulac is very 40licious

Style strategist Audrey Beaulac wants you to throw out anything you don’t love, doesn’t make you feel good, or is no longer working for you. Especially your fat clothes.

“Like a big handbag, big sweatpants will fill up. When your normal clothes start feeling tight, that’s the warning for you to cut back,” she says.

But perhaps none of your clothes fit that well anymore. “You have to be realistic about who you are,” she says, and your 40s is a really important time to define your style. “A lot of clothes in your closet come with a story. You should only have good stories in your closet. Get rid of the self-recrimination in your closet.”

Assessing takes a while. Leave some space to thoroughly go over what you can let go from your closet, and to understand what is still working well. “It’s OK to like what you like,” Beaulac says.

What if you’re still not sure if something is a tosser? “Get your picture taken in it,” Beaulac says, “then get ready to work. Instead of condemning yourself, get ready for some feedback. When you do it on film. You don’t have the same projection cycle as you do in the mirror.”

The trick to keep in mind is to play up your assets and make sure the clothes you keep are highlighting the good stuff you’ve got. If you focus on something you don’t like about your body, say a poochy belly or wide hips, chances are you’ll subconsciously draw attention to them in your clothing. And no matter who you are and how you look, a little advice from Mom goes a long way: keep your posture long and straight, and keep your voice strong but soft.

Jared! Throw out your fat pants!

For building your improved wardrobe, Beaulac suggests starting with the basics: your underwear. As your body changes, chances are your bra size will too, and you most likely are due for a bra fitting. “Be realistic,” she says. She suggests Nordstrom or Linda the Bra Lady. “Look for silhouettes that make you feel good about yourself.

The rear view is equally important – there should be no pantylines. “Spanx are great, but remember, anywhere you squish in, it’s going to come out somewhere else,” Beaulac says.

When you’re ready to move forward with your wardrobe, don’t pay attention to size – fit is what matters. If you’re ordering online, measure yourself and match that to the site’s size chart. And don’t get too attached to the product until it arrives and it works. “Internet ordering is getting better and better about returns,” she says, calling out Amazon.com, Zappos and Boutiques.com as good examples of pleasant and efficient shopping experiences.

She offers this caveat, however: “If you’re looking around and there are boxes all over the place and the clothes are not making you feel very good about yourself, you need to reassess.”

Feeling forlorn about how to conquer all this? Arrange a clothing swap, aka “Naked Lady Party” with your girlfriends. It’s the perfect excuse to take a harsh edit of your closet, takes some risks with new looks, and get honest advice from people who care. Best of all, it doesn’t cost a dime and you can donate all the leftovers to charity.

NEXT UP IN 40LICIOUS STYLE: FINISHING TOUCHES

40licious Style: Dressing the Part

From Tahari

There is a lot to love about style strategist Audrey Beaulac. First, there’s her career trajectory – she’s been on staff at Yale School of Drama costuming department, and has directed the look of a $700 million Hyatt resort in Hawaii, from desk to top-ranking staff. She’s been trusted by politicians, executives and other VIPs to help define their look and “visual signature.” But the main reasons I love Audrey, whom I met nearly a decade ago in Seattle, is because she is so smart and funny and warm. She’s the kind of person who tells you straight up how it is, in the nicest way possible. The knowledge she imparted to me back in the day of an eclectic closet and uncertain personal style have served me well to this day.

Today, she divides her time between Washington, DC and Seattle and is the go-to style reference for authors such as Charla Krupp, Danielle LaPorte and Laura Leist.

I interviewed her about what people – especially women – need to consider as they navigate their 40s. We got so much that we ended up with what will be a series of postings on 40licious Style.

Today: Dressing the Part: How Women in Their 40s Claim Authority

Women in their 40s are a powerful force, style strategist Audrey Beaulac says. We are credited with 25 percent of all the billions of dollars spent on fashion each year, she says, adding that, “We’re a little bit smarter, older, more thoughtful in our choices. We’re producers. We can produce a lot.”

That’s why it’s important for women to present themselves with the authority they’ve earned – while not aging themselves.

Melanie Griffith is current -- for 1988

Consider the 40-something woman in your office who is competent and smart – and disastrously frumpy, with the 1980’s shoulder pads, matching matronly skirt, and flats that have seen a tad too many shuffles to the conference room.  Come on, you know this woman. You might even be this woman.

Dowdy dressing, says Beaulac, “is a hangover from how we came up in the business world. Being dumpy isn’t taken more seriously than being in a skirt that’s too short.”

She advises women to ditch the pants that are too high-waisted, collars that are too tight or too high, pleated denim skirts and the A-lines, and focus, instead, on staying current. “Being current doesn’t mean being trendy. It’s going forward.”

“Part of that frumpy business look also comes from not being well groomed,” Beaulac says. No-no’s include:

• A haircut that is no longer working
• Bad hair color: color too flat, wrong hue, or not keeping up with highlights
• Makeup that’s been the same for two years or more
• Neglected manicure

She says that if women in their 40s are still doing the “grab and go” lifestyle – throwing on whatever clothes don’t smell bad and leaving home with wet hair, they’ll be fighting an uphill battle. “In order to be taken seriously, you have to be put together… How you dress is the introduction to the story of who you are.”

            Beaulac recommends dressing in columns, in neutrals, and with no high-contrast transitions. “When you’re presenting in a power position, don’t cut your body in two. Pay attention to your face; it’s your communication center. That might mean lighter on top, and wearing necklaces. Bring your focus up.”

So the beige twinset with the black pants and beige shoes may seem completely inoffensive, but the result is choppy, and drawing attention wherever the sweater ends. Better: Pair the black pants with a darker top or jacket and dark shoes, to elongate the look. “The more vertical your appearance, the slimmer you’ll feel.”

The other thing to keep in mind for daring fashionistas who like to radically change their looks: “If you are not creating a consistent impression, people can’t get a handle on you. They won’t trust you.”

Beaulac suggests we take a tip from those in the public eye: “The biggest secret of the A-list people is the strategic use of style to tell the world that they know who they are.  They wear the clothes; the clothes don’t wear them. Those who either rely too much on outsiders or choose blindly end up with bad haircuts, lots of unused make-up and clothes that don’t work even though they should.  Instinct is the wisdom; reasoned analysis implements the wisdom consistently.” 

Coming up next: SHOPPING FOR AND ORGANIZING YOUR 40LICIOUS WARDROBE