Spirit: Naomi Wolf Busts the "Aging Myth"

"I know — finally — what I like to wear and am comfortable not bothering with what I don’t. I love not being in physical competition with other women. I love being able to appreciate the beauty of other women and feeling appreciated myself — and appreciating myself."-- Naomi Wolf

Naomi Wolf is the embodiment of 40licious, and sums it up in her Washington Post story. Photo: Washington Post

I can't recall being any great beauty, any time in my life. Except maybe a window at about 3 years old when my mother dressed me up and got some charming headshots taken of me in a dress and a hat with elephants painted on it. I was a little blonde with an updo.

Then a tomboy and after that an awkward teen with the absolutely wrong curly hair for the coveted Farrah Fawcett feathering. I spent my college years tromping around in a tiny skirt and Betsey Johnson lycra tank top with red roses all over it, bartending and waitressing. I don't think I'd call that beautiful. But in my 20s Naomi Wolf brought us "The Beauty Myth," a tome on the skewed perception and creation of American beauty. She validated my simultaneous rejection and craving for ideal beauty, and informed the rest of my life. I scoffed at women who were too "done" as I lived out part of my 30s in a cabin in the woods, in a uniform of jeans and Timberlands and a huge green wooly sweater stolen from an Irish boyfriend, and then would go to the salon and spend half my meager earnings on getting my hair done.

Now at 40licious, I'm not feeling the pull to start with the Botox shots. Yes, I'm slightly aghast when I see a picture that shows crinkle lines around my eyes, or the indomintable poof around my waist. (I think I've trained myself to not see these things in the mirror, holding my face a certain way, or positioning my body just so.)

And here's Naomi Wolf again, this time in the Washington Post, summing up the 40licious credo: We've learned and earned our way to the sweet spot in our life, and we're still hot. In her piece, she talks about how we were all so worried about becoming invisible, marginalized, pushed aside by newer younger blonder versions of ourselves. But it didn't happen. It didn't happen because we take care of ourselves. Because we went out and did interesting things and blazed our own paths. Which made us more attractive than any series of Botox injections could. And instead of being in competition with the 20somethings, we'll help move them along to become amazing 40licious women like us.

Naomi, I hereby induct you into the 40licious Hall o' Fame for how well you put into words what we're thinking. Thank you for all you've done, all you do, and all you will do.

Now Accepting Applications

We are now accepting applications for the 40licious Hall o' Fame. If you are a regular reader, you may recall that there are about three people inducted; two of them not so famous, plus Michelle Obama.

The criteria:

1. In the 40licious age range. In normal time this is someone who is 40-49 years old, but here at 40licious, all those numbers just blur together.
2. Female, preferably, or a person who does something kick-ass to further 40licious women's well-being.
3. She or he should be accomplishing or saying something inspiring about being 40licious.

Please include comments about who this person is, relevant links if possible, and the reason for your nomination. THANKS!~

40licious Hall o' Fame: Michelle Obama

Not only does she get to regularly bed down nightly with the world's collective crush.
Not only does she teach her kids about locally grown food.
Not only does she rock whatever she wears, even if it's a big stupid plastic belt.
Not only did she leave corporate America to become a community organizer.

She also told Oprah this:
"I think in my 40s, I started feeling very comfortable in my own skin. Motherhood helps, marriage helps -- those learning curves that force you to be better. And my hope is that my 50s will hone that. I never consider myself a finished product."

Michelle, welcome to the 40licious Hall o' Fame.

Scarf of the Week

This one was for Mashi for her 40licious birthday. She's amazing for so many reasons -- AND SHE IS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE 40LICIOUS HALL O' FAME!

1. She grew up in Mexico City with dreams of becoming a ballet dancer.
2. Those sweet dreams brought her to Los Angeles, where she enrolled in a special high school and studied ballet.
3. She got herself a job at McDonald's to get her through ballet training.
4. She got shot during a holdup at said McDonald's.
5. She almost died, but didn't.
6. She went to school on McDonald's dime and learned how to be a PR agent.
7. She has eventually become one of the most sought-after agents in California, because she has such great command of the craft and ALL ethnic media, not just Spanish.
8. She has taught me more about my work than anyone ever has.

So Mashi, ¡te quiero y feliz cumpleaños!

40licious Hall o' Fame: Fun With Pop Rocks

The link isn't quite working directly; search for "Liquid Muse" on the site and pick "alcohol-free cocktails." You'll be glad you spent that extra four seconds.

I hereby initiate another rockin' person into the 40licious Hall o' Fame: My good friend Natalie Bovis-Nelsen, aka The Liquid Muse. There are several reasons I could have previously put her right in there. She's clasped on so tight to her mission to make a living as a cocktail writer/blogger and it's actually happening for her. She held her own with those icky pigs on the Tom Leykis show yesterday. But what really tipped the balance, for me, was that she invented a drink featuring Pop Rocks.

I remember hearing that Mikey died from ingesting, simultaneously, Pop Rocks and Coke. If I ever decide to off myself, that's how I'm going down. And don't try to stop me.

This Time Will Be Different

Rodrigo y Gabriela

This time will be different.

This time I will not quit when it gets hard.

This time I will pay attention.

This time I will work and work and work until I get it right.

This time, I will get good enough so that I don't have to try. So that I can translate what is happening in my head and my heart to the world. So that I can tell you I love you in lyric and melody without actually saying "I love you."

This time, I will learn guitar. From a real teacher.

There are 100 songs I want to be able to sing and play. I want to put provocative and too-clever poems to music, ala Ani di Franco. I want to mourn for sweetness gone like Nanci Griffith. I want to rock like Rod and Gab, John and Paul, Sinead, k.d., Prince.

At least 90 percent of my past beaus have been all guitar, all the time. True talents. But you know what? You can't learn guitar by osmosis, no matter how many bodily fluids you swap. And it's taken me until 40licious to understand this.

When I get my throwdown song, hopefully by the end of the year, I am nominating myself for the 40licious Hall o' Fame.

An Open Letter to Paul Schaffer

A few months ago, a lovely guy named Scott at work felt sorry for me when he learned that I had NO TV. So he cleared out his rec room/poker space and donated his television to the Irish-American Pop Culture Scholarship Fund, which happens to be housed here on Louise Street.

So tonight I was watching said electronic appliance, and saw Paul on Letterman, and thought, "please, oh, give it up. Now."

However, I redact.

Because Paul has made a career out of being his own bad Canadian musical funky self, and there's not a whole lot of people who can claim such a long run as sidekick.

I hereby proclaim May 16 as International 40licious Paul Schaffer Day.

Don't try to stop me. It's nearly midnight.

Announcing the 40licious Hall o' Fame!

Because I am officially now 40licious, and hence I can do whatever I want, I hereby announce the creation of the 40licious Hall o' Fame!

My first inductee is one Ms. Kathlyn Albright, my good friend and collaborator from the Seattle days, who just up and decided that she's going to run the L.A. Marathon for her 40th birthday. Just like that! (And I thought I was a bad-ass going to Vegas to see Barry Manilow!) In all the time I've known her, she has never been, truth be told, much of an athlete, unless you count going up and down the bazillion Escherian steps to her apartment. I didn't even know the woman owned a pair of sneakers. But there she was, texting me from the racecourse (I know. So L.A.). She finished in a little over eight hours and raised more than $2,000 for cancer.

Kathlyn prepares for the big race

I hope all of us can learn a little something from Kathlyn: That you can indeed drink yourself silly two nights before a marathon, flirt with a sexy bartender and still finish with dignity and grace.

That, my friends, is the definition of 40licious.