Money: It's Different for Women in Their 40s

Kevin Brosius

Today's interview is with Kevin Brosius, president of Wealth Management, Inc. He is a fee-only financial planner (which means he's not paid by an investment firm to sell their products) and investment advisor with offices in Allentown and Plymouth Meeting, Pa.

  1. By the time a woman hits 40, there are a lot of variables she may be facing financially, especially if she's dealing with a blended family, supporting a spouse, or starting over again financially. What are some of the most common financial situations you see for women in their 40s?
I used to do some work for a law firm, providing a financial overview for divorced couples after their divorce is final. 90% of those that took advantage of the session were women (average age 40-50) and overwhelmingly what I found was that most were legitimately surprised about their financial situation. I don’t think the post breakup financials for everything from current cash flow to retirement savings were properly thought out or negotiated. It can be devastating to find out that you can’t afford your home and have to move out. Another issue I see with women is their desire to pay for their children’s college in full. Even divorced women with limited resources seem to want to go down this path. That can be a huge expense and usually a very difficult strain on family finances, especially if it is a single paycheck household. First thing I tell them is don’t commit to that for your children unless your retirement is fully funded.

  2. What are the most important ways a woman in her 40s should protect her assets, even if she is blissfully coupled? Make sure you have the appropriate levels of insurance. I think many women don’t give this enough due diligence. Disability Insurance is so very important as women age (men too for that matter). We are three times more likely to be disabled than die before we retire. If your employer doesn’t provide one as part of your benefits package, get a commercial package but don’t go without it. Have enough life insurance to provide for your family should something happen to you. There are many cases where the woman is the major breadwinner for the family. Should her paycheck suddenly disappear, it would be a real hardship. Also, check out long term care policies. Take a look in any nursing home, vast majority of residents are women. This care can really drawdown assets in a hurry. Get a quote for LTC, see if it fits your budget.

 3. What are the most fair ways to arrange or split finances if one partner makes more than the other? Or should it all just go in one pot? I like the single pot approach. However, I have created budgets for remarried couples. A lot of them have some kind of arrangement like 50-50 for all household expenses, groceries, etc. Then they are on their own for autos or other activities they want to do. Seems to work for those that I worked with. As long as the arrangement is understood upfront, it’s usually OK.

 4. Anything else people should know? 
A lot of women in their 40’s don’t understand how their money is invested – like in 401ks or IRAs. They really seem to be clueless about this and that is very important to funding their retirement.

Where do you start to take control of your financial life? Read books, ask people, and you can also contact Kevin or another fee-only financial advisor through NAPFA. Happy planning!

40licious Relationships: Surviving Divorce After 40

On the emotional trauma scale, divorce is up there around death of a loved one, or having your best bra eaten by a Chihuahua. Erica Manfred, author of “He’s History, You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After 40,” says that getting a divorce in your 40s or later has a uniquely different impact than on someone younger, who might be able to start over more easily.

A lot of women in their 40s have passed the window where they want to have more – or any – children. Those who stayed home during their marriages may have a lot of catch-up to do for their careers. “You lose your dream of having a family and marching into the sunset with the father of your children,” she says.


In her book, Manfred offers practical advice a in a girlfriend-to-girlfriend tone that helps sort out the mental chaos that accompanies a divorce. There are three basic steps women can take to help them move forward, she says, especially when the divorce isn't a friendly or gracious one.

1. Grieve. People may push you to start dating, and to move on. Sometimes it takes a long time, and you’ll know when you’re ready. “Let yourself heal in your own time,” she says.

2. Get moving. “Yoga, dance, bicycling, anything that gets your endorphins going,” she says. Exercise will keep you from falling apart physically, and mentally, she says, “it’s better than alcohol. “

3. Go to therapy. While surrounding yourself with good friends is essential, you’ll still need a professional on your side. You’ll have a lot of rage and sadness, and if you vent to your kids and enlist them in your own personal army against your ex – the term for it is “parental alienation” – you’ll wind up hurting everyone and may wind up back in court. “If you’re a mature , thinking person you’ll put your kids first,” Manfred says.

Finally, when you’re ready to move on, go for it and get back into the dating world. “When you’re in your 40s, you’re still young,” she says.

How did you get through your divorce?

READ A CHAPTER of He’s History, You’re Not

ORDER THE BOOK from Amazon